Taking it all in

Although I know the last trimester tends to drag on, I feel like it will be over before we know it.
I want to do so many things that I don't have energy for.
Nearly every Fourth of July my family goes camping up in Utah. This year was no exception and I can't believe how jealous that made me. I kept seeing pictures and it made me miss the mountains, and cool weather.
I love camping. I love sitting around a fire and roasting mallows. I love hanging out with family laughing and telling stories. I love sleeping under the stars. I love waking up to the sun and feeling the cool weather outside of my sleeping bag. I LOVE CAMPING.
Matt and I both love camping, and the fact that we haven't been once this year was seriously getting to me. The hard thing is, in the summer you do not want to go camping in the desert, it's way too hot. So in order to get that mountainy feeling you have to drive a ways.
After the Fourth, I made Matt promise to take me camping the next weekend. We keep talking about it, but something always comes up to take it's place. I told him, "If anything comes up this week, we can't go, we are GOING camping"
Thursday night Matt stayed up scouting locations. We typically go somewhere between Sedona and Flagstaff, but he wanted to try somewhere new. He chose a place called Blue Ridge Reservoir, about 3.5 hours away.
We decided we'd sleep in the bed of the truck so there would be one less thing to set up. Matt got off work a little bit early and started getting things all packed up. I got home, got packed and we headed out.
To get there, you drive on highway for about 2 hours, unpaved road for about 30 minutes, dirt road for about 30 minutes and really really bumpy road for about 30 minutes. Baby did NOT love the terrain. We likely won't go again before having the baby, for fear it would put me in labor with not a soul in sight. (Luckily I have read the part in "What to Expect When You're Expecting" about having your spouse deliver your baby, we'd be fine)
It was dark by the time we were getting there and neither of us had been there before so we didn't really know where we were looking. We got to a place where we just couldn't drive any further. Matt was expecting a paid campground, but there was no one and nothing around for miles, so we said, "Looks like this is where we sleep tonight."
Matt built a fire pit and got a nice fire going and we sat by the fire, eating smores and just chit chatting for a while.
We got our bed all set up in the bed of the truck and slept underneath the stars. The weather was about 57 which was just perfect! It was nice and cool outside, but not too cold. I slept like a baby, which hasn't happened often lately so it was very welcomed.
We woke up at about 7:00 when the sun wouldn't let us sleep anymore.
We could not believe how beautiful of a place we were in. It was just the perfect morning.

Without having a tent, taking apart camp happened really fast. We decided to explore and find the reservoir. According to the map we used to get there, it shouldn't be too much further away. What we didn't realize is Matt just put in Blue Ridge Reservoir on his map. This would take you there, but not necessarily a convenient way. After we drove as far as we could, we walked a little ways and found the reservoir, at the base of the cliff we were standing on. We came from the back and had no way to access it unless we were to drive a long ways again.
We just decided to head back to town, get some breakfast and drive home.
As mentioned before, we drove at night so we had no idea how beautiful the drive was. Driving home was breathtaking. We kept stopping to take pictures and sighed a little each time the tempurature raised a degree (about 40 in total :( )

We got home about 1 in the afternoon. 7 hours of driving for about 12 hours at the site was totally worth it, in my opinion. It was so nice just to get away with Matt and have a little adventure.
Soaking up the time we have left as just a twosome.

Moments of panic

So, last night, for only the second time since I got pregnant, I had a bit of a panic.
I don't know if I talked about the first time it happened, but I just had this flash in my mind of me sitting on the couch holding the baby, all alone. Matt was back to work and the novelty of everyone wanting to come and visit had worn off, and I was just there alone with my baby. Still the idea of that freaks me out. I know a lot of it comes naturally and this is something every first time mother has to go through, but every once in a while it scares me to think that I'm going to have a life to take care of.

Last night I was laying in bed, Matt was getting ready for bed and I was just sitting there watching the movements of my belly. I looked up on our dresser and saw a random assortment of things; a water bottle, my prenatal pills, Matt's keys, and the thought came to me, "What will be up there when we have a baby? A bottle? A binky..."  and I just started to internally freak out a little bit.

I had a slow morning at work yesterday and figured out that, I have 84 more days until I take maternity leave, and only 59 work days. This baby is coming. My due date is 12 and a half weeks out.

As Matt was getting ready last night I remembered a conversation Jennie and I had when she was pregnant with Jace, her oldest, though she hadn't announced she was pregnant yet, so I didn't know. She was telling me that she the idea of having a kid made her a little sad because it wouldn't just be her and Brock anymore. Someone else was going to take focus off her husband and that was hard to wrap her head around. Jace is almost 10, and has 3 younger siblings now, and I know for certain she is so happy with their family. Still, I found myself thinking those same things last night. Soon, it won't just be us. Soon, when he is getting ready for bed I may be feeding the baby or singing her to sleep. He may be downstairs doing dishes or something while I am upstairs tidying up the nursery.
I think about this stuff and it makes me miss Matt.

I am so excited to meet this little girl, but this is going to change our lives. Change can be a most wonderful thing, but before it's wonderful, it's scary.

6 month update

This Friday I will hit 6 months which is just crazy. Time has been flying so far. I keep being told that it will slow down in the third trimester, and perhaps it will, but so far everything is new and exciting and hasn't gotten old so time is still moving right along.

This last month has been a full one. I went home to Utah for a weekend. We got to celebrate Matt's first Father's Day. We got the results of our anatomy scan, all is looking good there. Matt and I started serving in the nursery in our ward and we are starting to get things done in the baby's room.

I'll start off with the anatomy scan. I had the ultrasound in the beginning of May, but it was two days after my doctor's appointment so I had to wait until my June appointment to hear all the juicy details.
The doctor said that everything is looking good. She is sizing up just right and all seems perfectly well.
After the ultrasound Matt and I were looking through all the pictures and Matt said, "Um... does she have 6 toes?" I laughed and rolled my eyes, and then looked at the picture

                                                   
At the end of the doctor's appointment I showed him the picture and said, "Does it look like she has six toes? He smiled and said, "Yes, yes it does." He said the ultrasound tech didn't say anything with her report, so it is likely just a bad angle with the camera, BUT he said IF she does have six toes, it's really not that uncommon and they will just remove it at birth. It won't even leave a scar. Poor little 6 toe'd baby.

Father's Day this year was a fun one. I had bought Matt a gift WELL in advance and it was just sitting in our house. It wasn't anything huge, but I was just excited to get him something for Father's Day. As soon as I woke up on Sunday morning I got it all ready and brought him his gift.

I was a little nervous when I ordered it, that he would never use it, and then within a week of ordering it he used my pretty, frilly apron like 3 times, so I felt good about my choice.
A friend of mine did the word jumble for her anniversary and gave me the idea. I just made a word jumble with all the words that I feel describe a daddy. He says he loves it.
I also made him a card that said, "Your mission if you choose to accept it..." and on the inside it said, "Be our little girl's daddy" and then had a list of things that little girls need from their daddy. Things like; Warm her feet on your belly, fight the monsters in her closet, be the reason she misses home, show her how a husband should treat a wife, celebrate her victories, hold her when she cries... and as a joke I put "Wear her Dora backpack" when we were on our cruise he saw a Dad with a little girl and the dad was wearing a Dora backpack, Matt said, "I won't do that." I said, "Oh sure you will"
He agreed to all terms.

I am so excited to see Matt be a daddy. As mentioned above we have been called to work in the nursery in our ward. I will admit I was MAD when I got the calling, my whole adult life it was the calling I dreaded. However, I was not expecting it to be nearly as structured as it is. It's actually a pretty fun calling. There are a bunch of kids in nursery, like 9 at the least, and Matt is so good in there.
There is one kid named Brock, he is probably two, if that. Our first Sunday he was sitting by the door and when he realized his parents weren't there he started the heavy breathing and tears were coming. Matt quickly went over to him and brought some giant legos and played with him the whole time. Ever since that day as soon as Matt and I get there he comes straight over to Matt and either sits on his lap or plays legos with him. And if another kid is in Matt's lap, he gets very confused.
 Matt is so patient, where I am not. I have kids come to me and say, "Come with me..." and want me to walk the room with them, they have no direction in mind, they just want me to go with them. I just want to say, "just get what you want and bring it to me, because, as you can see... I'm sitting" But I go with them, of course.

Baby girl is a mover and a shaker. Right now she is a little over 2 pounds and about 15 inches long. WHAT??? She's huge. Every night when I lay down I look at my belly and watch her move around. I'll see a little kick and in my mind she is only as big as that little spot in my belly that moved, but about a week ago I was watching and both sides of my belly got a kick at the same time and that WEIRDED ME OUT! It was then that I realized how big she is. I can't believe I get to meet her in 3 months.

I imagine how that day will be all the time. I wonder if I'll go into labor on my own, or if I'll be late and have to be induced. I wonder where I will be when it happens, will I be at work, will I be asleep, will she do me a solid and come on a weekend, will she be early, will she be late? I wonder what it will be like to take her home at Christmas and meet all her Sanders cousins for the first time. I think about the swimsuits she'll wear next summer. I wonder if she'll be a daddy's girl. I think about her all the time.

So 6 months down, and things are moving along swimmingly. I am getting progressively more uncomfortable. I'm not even that big, but turning over in bed, getting off the couch, bending over to pick something up, it's all a struggle.

Can't wait to meet our little one.