Here's the thing, I can feel what is normal and rational and what is brought on by hormones. Usually if it's "that time of the month" I just keep my mouth shut because I KNOW that any annoyances are not real issues and that I will overreact and then regret it.
Pregnancy is a different ball game. I feel like I've been pretty good, hormonally, during the last 5 months, but the past few days... I have had a RUSH of emotion. I'm the type that writes therapeutically so here it goes.
The past week, I have been so tired, and not able to sleep well. Matt is SO busy and stressed at work and I want to make home a haven for him, but I'm so tired. I'm ok during the day while I'm at work, but I get home and sit on the couch and think, "Wow, I could fall asleep right now for the rest of the night"
Yesterday was rough. I had planned to make this soup that Matt loves (his momma's recipe). I got home and first had to bake the potatoes for an hour and then let them cool completely before I could really do much else. By the time Matt got home they were cooling. I wanted dinner to be ready and it wasn't even close. He had a particularly hard day and instead of being able to chill out and let the day fade away, he helped me make dinner (I'm crying, freaking hormones). I felt so bad and apologized and he just said, "You don't have to apologize, I like helping you" (He's the stinkin best) Even so, I was in a bummer mood because of it, which in no way would make his day better.
Last night was a particularly hard night on me. I felt really sick and was up at 4 in the morning and never able to go back to sleep. Baby girl was moving more than ever and as much as I love to feel her move, last night I just wanted to tell her to stop it! Just for like 10 minutes so I could fall asleep. My back was aching and I could not get comfortable. I'm sure my inner turmoil was making her uncomfy too and that's why she was moving so much, so it was just cyclicle. My discomfort made her uncomfortable, she'd adjust which would make me uncomfortable.
That brings us to today. I am extra tired, I don't feel well and I know when the work day is over I'm just going to want to go home and veg. After the day Matt had yesterday I want today to be better. I want to make it better. I don't want him to have to come home and take care of me. Of course he would, and he would never complain about it, but I don't want to do that to him. (Crying some more)
I'm sure Matt would read this and chuckle thinking, "This is so not a big deal, I can make myself a sandwich and be perfectly fine." but I want to make it for him... (I'm laughing now that I'm crying about this)
It boils down to this. I want to be the pregnant woman that looks cute, has dinner on the table and the house clean when hubby comes home from work. Turns out, I'm not really that girl when I'm not pregnant so add tiredness and not feeling well to it, I don't know why my expectations of myself are so high. Alas, they are and knowing I'm going to go home tonight, get in pj pants and a giant t-shirt, and will probably be sitting on the couch eating an otterpop when Matt walks through the door is making me cry.
4 more months, and methinks this is just the beginning.
Love you Matt!
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Baby Dreams
Last night I had a small little dream about Baby girl.
The Dream:
Matt woke up before me, as he usually does. Every morning he'll wake up and lay on his back and look at his phone for a bit before getting out of bed. This morning was the same, but when I rolled over to look at him, he had Baby Girl laying on his chest. He had gotten up and gotten the baby and brought her back to bed with him. I turned over and she was looking at me, and when I looked at her she got a big smile on her face and I said, "Oh HI Baby Girl"
That was it. I feel like this was a glimpse into our future and I am so excited for those mornings. The complete happiness I feel when I think about that dream and our baby is something I've never experienced before.
It amazes me that there are levels of complete happiness. You can be the happiest you've ever been and then something else comes along that makes you even happier. These are the things that make life amazing. Exceeding happiness! Exceeding Joy.
Can't wait to meet you Baby Girl.
I read this poem on pinterest yesterday and I HAVE to share it, it's so perfect for my life right now:
I AM NOT ALONE
Running errands and talking on the phone,
I am pleasantly reminded that I am not alone.
Little tiny hands, a precious rounded knee
pushing and twisting that no one can see.
Oh sweet child kicking up your heels,
it is our little secret that only I can feel.
I look forward to your birth,
when I can kiss your skin,
but for now I will just smile,
As I feel you play within.
aaaaaaand tears... again.
The Dream:
Matt woke up before me, as he usually does. Every morning he'll wake up and lay on his back and look at his phone for a bit before getting out of bed. This morning was the same, but when I rolled over to look at him, he had Baby Girl laying on his chest. He had gotten up and gotten the baby and brought her back to bed with him. I turned over and she was looking at me, and when I looked at her she got a big smile on her face and I said, "Oh HI Baby Girl"
That was it. I feel like this was a glimpse into our future and I am so excited for those mornings. The complete happiness I feel when I think about that dream and our baby is something I've never experienced before.
It amazes me that there are levels of complete happiness. You can be the happiest you've ever been and then something else comes along that makes you even happier. These are the things that make life amazing. Exceeding happiness! Exceeding Joy.
Can't wait to meet you Baby Girl.
I read this poem on pinterest yesterday and I HAVE to share it, it's so perfect for my life right now:
I AM NOT ALONE
Running errands and talking on the phone,
I am pleasantly reminded that I am not alone.
Little tiny hands, a precious rounded knee
pushing and twisting that no one can see.
Oh sweet child kicking up your heels,
it is our little secret that only I can feel.
I look forward to your birth,
when I can kiss your skin,
but for now I will just smile,
As I feel you play within.
aaaaaaand tears... again.
Monday, May 18, 2015
My Little Pesh
So many things!!!
This last week, from Mother's Day until our anniversary yesterday have been RIPE with feels.
The night before Mother's Day Matt and I were laying in bed feeling our little nugget moving like crazy. It was the most movement we have ever felt and I was just saying what a perfect lead into Mother's Day it was.
We started talking about what a privilege it is to be parents. I've seen that "Mom" music video a few times. The Garth Brooks song about a little child up in heaven so afraid to go down to earth. Heavenly Father is telling the child, "Don't worry, there is someone down there waiting for you who will take care of you. I'm giving you to someone who's sole purpose is to make sure that you are warm and loved and happy." and so on. That song gets me so emotional to think that I have been chosen to be a mom to someone. That mantle is on my shoulders and soon I will have a little life here who it's my job to love and snuggle and hold when they are scared, wipe their tears when they are sad. It's an incredibly humbling thought and I just feel honored.
As we were talking the baby stopped moving and Matt said, "It can hear you, you calmed it down." and I felt like a Mom. The tears flow every time I think about that.
Last night we found out that our baby is a girl. I was NOT expecting that and I was immediately scared. There are so many different kinds of girl. I was very sensitive and emotional. I was very insecure and uncomfortable in my skin. I am so scared that my daughter will go through what I went through and that I will KNOW how she feels. It was hard enough going through it myself, but watching my daughter experience it is too much to handle.
I was talking to a co-worker about that this morning and she said, "Do not thrust your issues onto your child. They will have stuggles and issues of their own, it's your job to love them and support them and let them know that no matter what you are there for them. Don't give them issues just because you had them" It was glorious advice. Matt also told me "If our daughter does have similar struggles, there will be no one who can empathize better with her than you."
Very calming thoughts.
When I was a little girl, my dad called me Precious, which turned to peshous, which ended up being Pesh. He called me that for so long and I loved it. As soon as I found out I was having a little girl, she became my little pesh. (Again the tears flow)
To my Little Pesh:
I am so honored to be your mother. I can't wait to meet you and see the person you become. I can't wait to see what traits of mine you have and what you get from your Daddy. I know you'll be sassy, I know you'll be sarcastic, I know you'll give me a run for my money, but I know all of the smiles for the rest of my life will in some way have to do with you.
I was singing in church yesterday and you started moving around. I didn't want to stop because I felt a connection with you in that moment, but I had to stop because I started to cry. I can't wait to sing to you and with you. Of all the singing I have ever done, singing to you will be the most important gig of my life, and the one I am THE MOST excited about.
I promise to love you. I promise to be on your side. I promise to hear you out. I promise that even if you think I'm being unreasonable that I love you and am trying to teach you how to be a strong and faithful woman. I promise I will have your Aunt Jennie teach me how to do hair. I promise I will make mistakes. I promise that we will fight, but the biggest and most important promise I can make to you is to tell you as my parents told me, There is NOTHING you could ever do that would make me stop loving you. I will make that promise to you every time we argue. Every time we get upset with each other. Every time you or I make a mistake. You will grow up hearing that, as I did. I promise to love you.
Love,
Momma.
This last week, from Mother's Day until our anniversary yesterday have been RIPE with feels.
The night before Mother's Day Matt and I were laying in bed feeling our little nugget moving like crazy. It was the most movement we have ever felt and I was just saying what a perfect lead into Mother's Day it was.
We started talking about what a privilege it is to be parents. I've seen that "Mom" music video a few times. The Garth Brooks song about a little child up in heaven so afraid to go down to earth. Heavenly Father is telling the child, "Don't worry, there is someone down there waiting for you who will take care of you. I'm giving you to someone who's sole purpose is to make sure that you are warm and loved and happy." and so on. That song gets me so emotional to think that I have been chosen to be a mom to someone. That mantle is on my shoulders and soon I will have a little life here who it's my job to love and snuggle and hold when they are scared, wipe their tears when they are sad. It's an incredibly humbling thought and I just feel honored.
As we were talking the baby stopped moving and Matt said, "It can hear you, you calmed it down." and I felt like a Mom. The tears flow every time I think about that.
Last night we found out that our baby is a girl. I was NOT expecting that and I was immediately scared. There are so many different kinds of girl. I was very sensitive and emotional. I was very insecure and uncomfortable in my skin. I am so scared that my daughter will go through what I went through and that I will KNOW how she feels. It was hard enough going through it myself, but watching my daughter experience it is too much to handle.
I was talking to a co-worker about that this morning and she said, "Do not thrust your issues onto your child. They will have stuggles and issues of their own, it's your job to love them and support them and let them know that no matter what you are there for them. Don't give them issues just because you had them" It was glorious advice. Matt also told me "If our daughter does have similar struggles, there will be no one who can empathize better with her than you."
Very calming thoughts.
When I was a little girl, my dad called me Precious, which turned to peshous, which ended up being Pesh. He called me that for so long and I loved it. As soon as I found out I was having a little girl, she became my little pesh. (Again the tears flow)
To my Little Pesh:
I am so honored to be your mother. I can't wait to meet you and see the person you become. I can't wait to see what traits of mine you have and what you get from your Daddy. I know you'll be sassy, I know you'll be sarcastic, I know you'll give me a run for my money, but I know all of the smiles for the rest of my life will in some way have to do with you.
I was singing in church yesterday and you started moving around. I didn't want to stop because I felt a connection with you in that moment, but I had to stop because I started to cry. I can't wait to sing to you and with you. Of all the singing I have ever done, singing to you will be the most important gig of my life, and the one I am THE MOST excited about.
I promise to love you. I promise to be on your side. I promise to hear you out. I promise that even if you think I'm being unreasonable that I love you and am trying to teach you how to be a strong and faithful woman. I promise I will have your Aunt Jennie teach me how to do hair. I promise I will make mistakes. I promise that we will fight, but the biggest and most important promise I can make to you is to tell you as my parents told me, There is NOTHING you could ever do that would make me stop loving you. I will make that promise to you every time we argue. Every time we get upset with each other. Every time you or I make a mistake. You will grow up hearing that, as I did. I promise to love you.
Love,
Momma.
Monday, May 11, 2015
Babymoon!!!
This past week Matt and I went on a little babymoon. I sat him down a few months ago and I told him I thought it was important for us to go on vacation just us before I'm too big to enjoy it and before we have kids to worry about.
We planned a cruise to the Western Carribbean and this week we did it.
Saturday night we were packing for the trip, I had checked in earlier that day. At about 10 PM I got an email from the cruise-line saying they needed a form (attached in the email) filled out by my doctor and submitted to them no later than 14 days prior to the cruise or we won't be allowed on and we won't get our money back. My blood was boiling. It was 10 at night 2 days before the cruise and this was the first I was hearing about this. Our flight left at 5:10 the next morning. I emailed my sister-in-law who works at my doctor's office and she forwarded the form on to him. Thankfully he got it to me early on Sunday.
We stayed with my cousin Amber and her family in Houston Sunday night. She was so gracious and had dinner for us. My other cousins Carrie and Tyler came to dinner and my Uncle Craig showed up a little late. So good to see family.
Monday:
We took a shuttle to the port. I had the form filled out and my guns blazing. I was ready for a fight and I was NOT going to back down. We got to the front of the line and I handed the lady the form and said, "Listen! This was sent to me Saturday night but I was told it needed to be submitted 14 days in advance..." She took the form and said, "Oh great, you have it, one minute" walked away, came back and said, "You're good to go" and finished checking us in. I was almost disappointed, I had a whole speech worked up.
We got on the ship, did our safety meeting and grabbed the first of MANY meals and ice cream cones. We were in the 8:15 dinner group and were seated at a table of 3 other couples, all around our age. I will say that we loved our table and got along with everyone really well, but I have to admit that we never learned their names. If you don't ask in the beginning it's just awkward to ask later.
The couple that sat directly across from us we did get to know and got along with them really well.
That night we went played some bingo (lost) went to a comedy show and then to bed.
Tuesday: Day at Sea
We woke up around 10 (it's so dark in those rooms and that boat just rocked us to sleep) got some breakfast and found some nice chairs to lay on. We laid out for about an hour and a half and figured it was a good time for lunch. We had both put sunscreen on, but didn't feel like we were getting any color so when we went back out didn't re-apply. I laid out for another hour or so and decided to head in, Matt wanted to stay a bit longer. I went into our room and took a nap (such a busy day) and matt came in probably another hour and a half later. Dude was FRIED!!! His back was a SOLID red, poor guy. We spent the rest of the day inside. We knew we had an early morning so after dinner we just went to bed.
Wednesday: Cozumel
Matt and I didn't book any excursions ahead of time because I knew that once you are off the ship they are a lot cheaper to book. That is, if you are AT ALL good at bartering, which we quickly learned, we are not. We found an excursion for a kayak and snorkling tour. We paid for it and when they asked if we were in good health we said, yes then I said, "I am pregnant though" and they wouldn't let us go. I am not sure if the water would be too rocky for the kayak or if the snorkling would be dangerous, but they said it was too big of a risk and reimbursed us.
We ended up going to a resort, swimming at the pool and beach there, and eating lunch in the shade. It was really fun, but I felt like Matt kind of got hosed. He did snorkle around a bit there and the lunch we had was delicious.
We got back to the ship around 3:30 showered and got cleaned up, got some pizza and ice cream then lounged before dinner. (Pizza is a good mid afternoon snack on a cruise, not so much a meal)
Same deal that night, we just went to bed after dinner.
Thursday: Yucatan
Again we didn't book an excursion but we found a good deal to go to these Mayan Ruins in a place called Dzibulchiltan or something like that. We never learned how to pronounce it. We took a taxi out and they waited for us there. We didn't pay for a tour, but kind of latched on to the one in front of us. It was really cool to look around. Since we weren't a part of the tour we didn't hear a lot of the history but it was so neat to see the structures and imagine life there. It was also SO HOT. Which made it hard to want to walk around. They had a little swimming pond there that we went to. It was an oasis in this place. It was so beautiful and the water felt amazing. they had these little fish that would nibble the dead skin off your feet. Apparently they use these fish in a lot of Asian countries as pedicures. You put your feet in a bucket with like 100 of them and they just nibble at your feet. It tickled like crazy.
After the ruins we decided to go to the beach. There is one beach in Yucatan and it's not much to see. It was very windy and the water was very choppy so we just ate lunch at this little beach side restaurant (terrible service and even worse food) and then we walked around and shopped a bit.
At dinner every night the servers do a little show. They'll just sing a song all together or dance or something. When I knew the show was about to start I got up to go to the bathroom. When I came back I see my table all laughing but Matt wasn't there, because he was up dancing with the servers. When our table saw me coming they laughed even harder. Poor Matt got picked on because he was all alone. He was a good sport though and was hilarious about it.
That night we planned to do something fun, but were too tired so we just ended up going to bed.
Friday: Day at Sea
By Friday Matt's back was feeling better so we decided to lay out a bit again. It was SO hot that I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it for long. As we were laying out a man came out and did some ice carving. He carved a perfect dolphin in about 30 minutes with nothing but chisels. It was so cool to watch. What a talent. After that we came inside and played some cards. Went to play bingo for the $5000 jackpot, lost again then got ready for dinner.
We really enjoyed our table. We may not have learned their names, but we all had a really good time. One of the couples got engaged that week and I was SO excited for them.
After dinner we got all our stuff packed up and set out so we didn't have to deal with them in the morning. We went to another comedy show and went to bed.
Saturday: Home
Saturday we got off the ship around 10:30. I have a friend, Abby Hess, who lives in Galveston (which I had totally forgotten) she was so sweet and met us at the port just so we could have a quick hug and say hi. We only got to chat for a minute before we had to catch the shuttle to the airport, but it was so great to see her.
Our flight was at about 3:30 which got us into AZ around 4:30. Matt's parents picked us up from the airport and we went to dinner with them. All night I felt like I was rocking and it was making me so sick. I think it's so interesting that on the ship I'm fine, because I expect to be rocking, but when you're home on solid ground and still feel that way... ugh I felt so gross all night.
We had such a wonderful trip. I am so glad we did this together, and I think we will always be glad we went on this one last trip as just a family of two. I sure love my husband. I love spending every minute with him and it always stinks to come back to work and be apart, but I'm so glad we had this time.
Babymoons are the way to go.
We planned a cruise to the Western Carribbean and this week we did it.
Saturday night we were packing for the trip, I had checked in earlier that day. At about 10 PM I got an email from the cruise-line saying they needed a form (attached in the email) filled out by my doctor and submitted to them no later than 14 days prior to the cruise or we won't be allowed on and we won't get our money back. My blood was boiling. It was 10 at night 2 days before the cruise and this was the first I was hearing about this. Our flight left at 5:10 the next morning. I emailed my sister-in-law who works at my doctor's office and she forwarded the form on to him. Thankfully he got it to me early on Sunday.
We stayed with my cousin Amber and her family in Houston Sunday night. She was so gracious and had dinner for us. My other cousins Carrie and Tyler came to dinner and my Uncle Craig showed up a little late. So good to see family.
Monday:
We took a shuttle to the port. I had the form filled out and my guns blazing. I was ready for a fight and I was NOT going to back down. We got to the front of the line and I handed the lady the form and said, "Listen! This was sent to me Saturday night but I was told it needed to be submitted 14 days in advance..." She took the form and said, "Oh great, you have it, one minute" walked away, came back and said, "You're good to go" and finished checking us in. I was almost disappointed, I had a whole speech worked up.
We got on the ship, did our safety meeting and grabbed the first of MANY meals and ice cream cones. We were in the 8:15 dinner group and were seated at a table of 3 other couples, all around our age. I will say that we loved our table and got along with everyone really well, but I have to admit that we never learned their names. If you don't ask in the beginning it's just awkward to ask later.
The couple that sat directly across from us we did get to know and got along with them really well.
That night we went played some bingo (lost) went to a comedy show and then to bed.
Tuesday: Day at Sea
We woke up around 10 (it's so dark in those rooms and that boat just rocked us to sleep) got some breakfast and found some nice chairs to lay on. We laid out for about an hour and a half and figured it was a good time for lunch. We had both put sunscreen on, but didn't feel like we were getting any color so when we went back out didn't re-apply. I laid out for another hour or so and decided to head in, Matt wanted to stay a bit longer. I went into our room and took a nap (such a busy day) and matt came in probably another hour and a half later. Dude was FRIED!!! His back was a SOLID red, poor guy. We spent the rest of the day inside. We knew we had an early morning so after dinner we just went to bed.
Wednesday: Cozumel
Matt and I didn't book any excursions ahead of time because I knew that once you are off the ship they are a lot cheaper to book. That is, if you are AT ALL good at bartering, which we quickly learned, we are not. We found an excursion for a kayak and snorkling tour. We paid for it and when they asked if we were in good health we said, yes then I said, "I am pregnant though" and they wouldn't let us go. I am not sure if the water would be too rocky for the kayak or if the snorkling would be dangerous, but they said it was too big of a risk and reimbursed us.
We ended up going to a resort, swimming at the pool and beach there, and eating lunch in the shade. It was really fun, but I felt like Matt kind of got hosed. He did snorkle around a bit there and the lunch we had was delicious.
We got back to the ship around 3:30 showered and got cleaned up, got some pizza and ice cream then lounged before dinner. (Pizza is a good mid afternoon snack on a cruise, not so much a meal)
Same deal that night, we just went to bed after dinner.
Thursday: Yucatan
Again we didn't book an excursion but we found a good deal to go to these Mayan Ruins in a place called Dzibulchiltan or something like that. We never learned how to pronounce it. We took a taxi out and they waited for us there. We didn't pay for a tour, but kind of latched on to the one in front of us. It was really cool to look around. Since we weren't a part of the tour we didn't hear a lot of the history but it was so neat to see the structures and imagine life there. It was also SO HOT. Which made it hard to want to walk around. They had a little swimming pond there that we went to. It was an oasis in this place. It was so beautiful and the water felt amazing. they had these little fish that would nibble the dead skin off your feet. Apparently they use these fish in a lot of Asian countries as pedicures. You put your feet in a bucket with like 100 of them and they just nibble at your feet. It tickled like crazy.
After the ruins we decided to go to the beach. There is one beach in Yucatan and it's not much to see. It was very windy and the water was very choppy so we just ate lunch at this little beach side restaurant (terrible service and even worse food) and then we walked around and shopped a bit.
At dinner every night the servers do a little show. They'll just sing a song all together or dance or something. When I knew the show was about to start I got up to go to the bathroom. When I came back I see my table all laughing but Matt wasn't there, because he was up dancing with the servers. When our table saw me coming they laughed even harder. Poor Matt got picked on because he was all alone. He was a good sport though and was hilarious about it.
That night we planned to do something fun, but were too tired so we just ended up going to bed.
Friday: Day at Sea
By Friday Matt's back was feeling better so we decided to lay out a bit again. It was SO hot that I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it for long. As we were laying out a man came out and did some ice carving. He carved a perfect dolphin in about 30 minutes with nothing but chisels. It was so cool to watch. What a talent. After that we came inside and played some cards. Went to play bingo for the $5000 jackpot, lost again then got ready for dinner.
We really enjoyed our table. We may not have learned their names, but we all had a really good time. One of the couples got engaged that week and I was SO excited for them.
After dinner we got all our stuff packed up and set out so we didn't have to deal with them in the morning. We went to another comedy show and went to bed.
Saturday: Home
Saturday we got off the ship around 10:30. I have a friend, Abby Hess, who lives in Galveston (which I had totally forgotten) she was so sweet and met us at the port just so we could have a quick hug and say hi. We only got to chat for a minute before we had to catch the shuttle to the airport, but it was so great to see her.
Our flight was at about 3:30 which got us into AZ around 4:30. Matt's parents picked us up from the airport and we went to dinner with them. All night I felt like I was rocking and it was making me so sick. I think it's so interesting that on the ship I'm fine, because I expect to be rocking, but when you're home on solid ground and still feel that way... ugh I felt so gross all night.
We had such a wonderful trip. I am so glad we did this together, and I think we will always be glad we went on this one last trip as just a family of two. I sure love my husband. I love spending every minute with him and it always stinks to come back to work and be apart, but I'm so glad we had this time.
Babymoons are the way to go.
Thursday, April 30, 2015
April in a Nutshell.
This month has been a doozy. We moved, I had concerts, my parents came in town and it was a VERY busy work month. This makes for a very tired mama-to-be.
I was going to go into the details of the month but basically what it comes down to is:
I LOVE my in-laws. We had so many people show up to help us move. The night before moving day Matt's oldest brother came over and helped us move the bedroom set to his parent's house. On moving day, we had people showing up as early as 7:30 to help us. We had 13 people show up and were able to get everything moved by 10:00 AM. We are so grateful to have had that help it made a stressful day so much easier.
I LOVE my husband! Matt has been working tirelessly to get everything done, whether it was packing, moving, organizing, cleaning our old apartment (which this week alone he's spent about 7 hours deep cleaning) I have felt so terrible that I can't be as much help as I would like, or as I should, but he just tells me to sit, or lay, to not over-do it.
I LOVE my family. My parents came in town for my choir concert. They drove down to bring me all the stuff I had left at their house. I loved having them in town. I loved playing games and telling stories and going out to eat. I love that they make the trip down here to hear me sing and how much joy they get out of that.
In other news. We have set the appointment to find out the gender of the wee babe. May 11th we will go to the doctor. Matt's family does dinner on the third Sunday of the month and we realized that the third Sunday in May is our anniversary, it's also the Sunday after we'd find out, so we decided to not find out at the appointment, but to get it in an envelope and open it with his family. I can't believe in 3 weeks we'll know what we're having.
I think we are having a boy. All of Matt's brothers have had boys first. All of my symptoms indicate boy, AND icing on the cake, last week I had a dream that we were having a boy. If we have a girl I will be very surprised, but no matter what we will be so excited to just finally KNOW.
Now the most exciting part. Last night we were laying in bed. I always fall asleep with my hands on my belly. I'm not showing much but when I lay down is when I feel pregnant, my stomach doesn't go in like it normally would and I can feel a little bump. I also know that I'm getting closer to being able to feel the baby move so when we first lay down to fall asleep I pay very close attention to what I'm feeling to see if anything stands out. There was one time last week I felt like I may have felt the baby move but it was so slight and I was half asleep. Last night I was laying there and Matt reached over and put his hand on my belly. I put my hands on top of his and just told him, "even if I do feel something, you probably won't feel it. It will just be internal" and we just laid there and started to fall asleep. Just a couple of minutes later there was a very noticeable kick or something. I gasped and Matt said, "Was that???" as I said, "did you feel that?" I LOVE that we felt the first movement together. I love that last night he just happened to decide to put his hand on my belly. We will always have that moment and I love that we share it.
April has been so busy, but we love our new place. I'm 4 weeks further along, and everything is starting to happen. I can't wait until I start showing and all this weight gain has more of a shape. I can't wait for all that will happen in this next month. We have our babymoon, my first Mother's Day, our first Anniversary and finding out the gender of our baby.
Life is pretty much perfect.
I was going to go into the details of the month but basically what it comes down to is:
I LOVE my in-laws. We had so many people show up to help us move. The night before moving day Matt's oldest brother came over and helped us move the bedroom set to his parent's house. On moving day, we had people showing up as early as 7:30 to help us. We had 13 people show up and were able to get everything moved by 10:00 AM. We are so grateful to have had that help it made a stressful day so much easier.
I LOVE my husband! Matt has been working tirelessly to get everything done, whether it was packing, moving, organizing, cleaning our old apartment (which this week alone he's spent about 7 hours deep cleaning) I have felt so terrible that I can't be as much help as I would like, or as I should, but he just tells me to sit, or lay, to not over-do it.
I LOVE my family. My parents came in town for my choir concert. They drove down to bring me all the stuff I had left at their house. I loved having them in town. I loved playing games and telling stories and going out to eat. I love that they make the trip down here to hear me sing and how much joy they get out of that.
In other news. We have set the appointment to find out the gender of the wee babe. May 11th we will go to the doctor. Matt's family does dinner on the third Sunday of the month and we realized that the third Sunday in May is our anniversary, it's also the Sunday after we'd find out, so we decided to not find out at the appointment, but to get it in an envelope and open it with his family. I can't believe in 3 weeks we'll know what we're having.
I think we are having a boy. All of Matt's brothers have had boys first. All of my symptoms indicate boy, AND icing on the cake, last week I had a dream that we were having a boy. If we have a girl I will be very surprised, but no matter what we will be so excited to just finally KNOW.
Now the most exciting part. Last night we were laying in bed. I always fall asleep with my hands on my belly. I'm not showing much but when I lay down is when I feel pregnant, my stomach doesn't go in like it normally would and I can feel a little bump. I also know that I'm getting closer to being able to feel the baby move so when we first lay down to fall asleep I pay very close attention to what I'm feeling to see if anything stands out. There was one time last week I felt like I may have felt the baby move but it was so slight and I was half asleep. Last night I was laying there and Matt reached over and put his hand on my belly. I put my hands on top of his and just told him, "even if I do feel something, you probably won't feel it. It will just be internal" and we just laid there and started to fall asleep. Just a couple of minutes later there was a very noticeable kick or something. I gasped and Matt said, "Was that???" as I said, "did you feel that?" I LOVE that we felt the first movement together. I love that last night he just happened to decide to put his hand on my belly. We will always have that moment and I love that we share it.
April has been so busy, but we love our new place. I'm 4 weeks further along, and everything is starting to happen. I can't wait until I start showing and all this weight gain has more of a shape. I can't wait for all that will happen in this next month. We have our babymoon, my first Mother's Day, our first Anniversary and finding out the gender of our baby.
Life is pretty much perfect.
Monday, April 13, 2015
Our First Home
This week Matt and I are moving out of our apartment into our friend's town house.
We started packing up on Saturday and man I feel like such a light weight. I still don't "Feel" pregnant, or as my friend Shakira so eloquently stated "You don't feel like you know what it feels like to feel like you feel pregnant" Exactly, Shakira, exactly. BUT, when packing I got about 6 boxes filled (I had to take about a 15 minute break in the middle) and I was done. I'd get super light headed any time I stood up and just knew that was about all I could take for the day. Baby was tired.
In that hour we were able to get a lot of stuff packed up. I got all the stuff off the walls (which was sad because it took us about 6 months before we actually started hanging things) I got all of the kitchen stuff boxed up that we knew we wouldn't use (anything that won't go in a microwave) Matt got a lot of the stuff in the office cleaned out. Our goal is, when people come to help us move on Saturday (fingers crossed that we get a lot of help) that all they will have to do is move boxes from the apartment to the truck and truck to town home. We want everything done and ready to be loaded.
Anyway, the point of this post is. We are moving out of our first home together. I'm sure every married person out there remembers their "first home". They probably remember the address, the rent, the stories from that time, but that won't be the case for every house we live in. This is our first, and we are moving out.
Don't get me wrong we are excited to leave this place. Our smoking neighbors. The dirty carpet. The commute. The random yelling fights and calls to the cops (although I admit we open the doors and windows for those things so we can listen in and hear the juice). The stinkin speed bumps every two feet. The long walks to the dumpster just to take the trash out. The volume of the dishwasher. The lack of space.
There are a lot of things we are ready to leave, but still, it's bittersweet. I'll never forget the first day we moved in. We weren't married yet, but Matt was living there for a couple weeks before I moved in. We walked in with our last load of stuff and Matt goes, "Should I carry you over the threshold?" I said, "Do you want to?" he knodded and said, "kinda" and he picked me up and carried me in.
This was the first place I cooked a meal for my husband. It housed our first furniture purchases. This is where I learned that Matt is a lot cleaner than I am, and Matt learned that I don't like when he leaves the shower curtain open after a shower.
This is where we were when we found out we were having a baby. This was where we had our first... argument. This was where we had our first Christmas tree, tiny as it was, and our first Christmas as husband and wife.
As ready as we are to leave, it was a great first home. It's always crazy to box up your life and take it somewhere new, but I just think about all the firsts that are going to happen in our second home and I cannot wait.
Here's to firsts, and new adventures.
Leave a comment and tell me about your first home.
We started packing up on Saturday and man I feel like such a light weight. I still don't "Feel" pregnant, or as my friend Shakira so eloquently stated "You don't feel like you know what it feels like to feel like you feel pregnant" Exactly, Shakira, exactly. BUT, when packing I got about 6 boxes filled (I had to take about a 15 minute break in the middle) and I was done. I'd get super light headed any time I stood up and just knew that was about all I could take for the day. Baby was tired.
In that hour we were able to get a lot of stuff packed up. I got all the stuff off the walls (which was sad because it took us about 6 months before we actually started hanging things) I got all of the kitchen stuff boxed up that we knew we wouldn't use (anything that won't go in a microwave) Matt got a lot of the stuff in the office cleaned out. Our goal is, when people come to help us move on Saturday (fingers crossed that we get a lot of help) that all they will have to do is move boxes from the apartment to the truck and truck to town home. We want everything done and ready to be loaded.
Anyway, the point of this post is. We are moving out of our first home together. I'm sure every married person out there remembers their "first home". They probably remember the address, the rent, the stories from that time, but that won't be the case for every house we live in. This is our first, and we are moving out.
Don't get me wrong we are excited to leave this place. Our smoking neighbors. The dirty carpet. The commute. The random yelling fights and calls to the cops (although I admit we open the doors and windows for those things so we can listen in and hear the juice). The stinkin speed bumps every two feet. The long walks to the dumpster just to take the trash out. The volume of the dishwasher. The lack of space.
There are a lot of things we are ready to leave, but still, it's bittersweet. I'll never forget the first day we moved in. We weren't married yet, but Matt was living there for a couple weeks before I moved in. We walked in with our last load of stuff and Matt goes, "Should I carry you over the threshold?" I said, "Do you want to?" he knodded and said, "kinda" and he picked me up and carried me in.
This was the first place I cooked a meal for my husband. It housed our first furniture purchases. This is where I learned that Matt is a lot cleaner than I am, and Matt learned that I don't like when he leaves the shower curtain open after a shower.
This is where we were when we found out we were having a baby. This was where we had our first... argument. This was where we had our first Christmas tree, tiny as it was, and our first Christmas as husband and wife.
As ready as we are to leave, it was a great first home. It's always crazy to box up your life and take it somewhere new, but I just think about all the firsts that are going to happen in our second home and I cannot wait.
Here's to firsts, and new adventures.
Leave a comment and tell me about your first home.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
End of the First Trimester and Beginning of Irrational (maybe rational) fears
Saturday marked the start of my second trimester.
As far as pregnancy goes I think I've had it pretty easy. That being said, I have had three colds in the two months I've known I was pregnant and that has gotten really old.
I am starting to show a little bit. Not so much that people would notice, but I can see a little bump.
I am so excited for this new trimester. This is where I feel like all the stuff starts. I'll feel the baby move, I'll really start to show, we'll find out what we're having... so many things that are right around the corner.
We move in about a week and a half and I'm so excited to set up a nursery and start getting our house ready for a baby.
In the beginning I was SURE we were having a girl, then after the last ultrasound I was even more sure we were having a boy, and now I just have no idea. I'm so excited to find out and to be able to start planning. I'm hoping my doctor will let us come in to find out the gender the Friday before our vacation which will be May 1st. I will be at 18 weeks at that point. That is only about three weeks away. I can't believe how quickly this is all happening.
Cravings: I have had a solid craving for salty things. I can't get enough chips and salsa, I love pickles and pepperoncinis, and lately I have had a large craving for thick cut french fries and fry sauce.
I typically have a sweet tooth, but not lately. I have Easter treats at my desk that have been there for about 2 weeks and I barely touch them. Normally, they'd last less than a week. Although I will say, I do crave popsicles or Bahama Bucks (shaved ice).
As for the fears.
I watch a couple of vlogs and in one of them the family was doing an Easter Egg hunt. The mom went with the three year old little boy. It was a city-wide thing and it was at a baseball field. She showed him the field and said, "See alllll those eggs out there? You want to run run run and grab as many as you can with all the other kids" The countdown happened and he went running. He just ran, and ran past about 12 eggs. His mom is laughing so hard reminding him to pick them up. He got knocked down a couple of times, and at the end there are no eggs to be seen but he is just running his little heart out, all over the place. He ended up with 3 eggs and was SO disappointed. My heart broke. "I only got 3.." the look on his face... I was in shambles.
Last night Matt and I watched Finding Neverland, and there is a scene in the movie where this adorable little boy is so sad and crying and I could NOT handle it.
My sister posted a picture of my nephew Nixon who is 7, they went to Lagoon and he was STILL too short to ride the big kid rides. In the picture Brock (his dad) is bending down talking to him, and the look on Nixon's face was too much for me. I couldn't even look at it.
These are not my children, but I put myself in the shoes of the parents and it makes me break. I won't be able to handle my kids getting hurt, being sad, getting their feelings hurt, getting their hearts broken. Just thinking about it makes me ache.
How do you parents out there do it? I'm sincerely asking because that is one part of parenting I don't think I can prepare for. I just want my kid to be happy forever and never hurt.
I know we have no control over this, but how do you handle it as parents.
Jennie? Mom and Dad? Comment!
These are the thoughts of a 14 week pregnant chick.
As far as pregnancy goes I think I've had it pretty easy. That being said, I have had three colds in the two months I've known I was pregnant and that has gotten really old.
I am starting to show a little bit. Not so much that people would notice, but I can see a little bump.
I am so excited for this new trimester. This is where I feel like all the stuff starts. I'll feel the baby move, I'll really start to show, we'll find out what we're having... so many things that are right around the corner.
We move in about a week and a half and I'm so excited to set up a nursery and start getting our house ready for a baby.
In the beginning I was SURE we were having a girl, then after the last ultrasound I was even more sure we were having a boy, and now I just have no idea. I'm so excited to find out and to be able to start planning. I'm hoping my doctor will let us come in to find out the gender the Friday before our vacation which will be May 1st. I will be at 18 weeks at that point. That is only about three weeks away. I can't believe how quickly this is all happening.
Cravings: I have had a solid craving for salty things. I can't get enough chips and salsa, I love pickles and pepperoncinis, and lately I have had a large craving for thick cut french fries and fry sauce.
I typically have a sweet tooth, but not lately. I have Easter treats at my desk that have been there for about 2 weeks and I barely touch them. Normally, they'd last less than a week. Although I will say, I do crave popsicles or Bahama Bucks (shaved ice).
As for the fears.
I watch a couple of vlogs and in one of them the family was doing an Easter Egg hunt. The mom went with the three year old little boy. It was a city-wide thing and it was at a baseball field. She showed him the field and said, "See alllll those eggs out there? You want to run run run and grab as many as you can with all the other kids" The countdown happened and he went running. He just ran, and ran past about 12 eggs. His mom is laughing so hard reminding him to pick them up. He got knocked down a couple of times, and at the end there are no eggs to be seen but he is just running his little heart out, all over the place. He ended up with 3 eggs and was SO disappointed. My heart broke. "I only got 3.." the look on his face... I was in shambles.
Last night Matt and I watched Finding Neverland, and there is a scene in the movie where this adorable little boy is so sad and crying and I could NOT handle it.
My sister posted a picture of my nephew Nixon who is 7, they went to Lagoon and he was STILL too short to ride the big kid rides. In the picture Brock (his dad) is bending down talking to him, and the look on Nixon's face was too much for me. I couldn't even look at it.
These are not my children, but I put myself in the shoes of the parents and it makes me break. I won't be able to handle my kids getting hurt, being sad, getting their feelings hurt, getting their hearts broken. Just thinking about it makes me ache.
How do you parents out there do it? I'm sincerely asking because that is one part of parenting I don't think I can prepare for. I just want my kid to be happy forever and never hurt.
I know we have no control over this, but how do you handle it as parents.
Jennie? Mom and Dad? Comment!
These are the thoughts of a 14 week pregnant chick.
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