We got married older than we thought we would and we both went through phases in our lives where the idea of having a spouse and a family was, maybe, not in the cards for us. So to now know that we are going to be having a baby, this year, is some kind of wonderful.
When we first were dating and talking about marriage we both talked about how long we'd want to wait before having kids. Matt's first response was, "No less than 2 years" My first response was "No longer than a year" As we got closer to being married it changed to being a year, for both of us, then I went to... maybe 6 months? After we got married and I was on the lovely birth control I went to, "Well I mean really, we probably won't get pregnant right away, so we may as well just get off birth control now and see where the chips fall" Matts response was, "For the first time in my life I am perfectly happy, and though yes I will be so happy when we have kids, I just want a little bit of time where this is our life. Once we even start trying everything will change, we will have a new focus, so for now I just want this, us." I could not argue with that, nor did I want to. So we said we'd take the discussion off the table for 2 months and we will reassess.
In September I knew it was time for me. I told him I always had this fear that it would take me a while to get pregnant and though that may not be the case, I'd rather risk it and get pregnant right away, knowing we are in a good position to have a baby right now, than wait and have a hard time getting pregnant and wonder if I would have if we tried earlier. We both agreed that it was time, and we were both immediately so excited/scared.
After about 3 months, I was sure something was wrong with me. I was reading about PCOS, which is a syndrome where you very irregularly ovulate, you can absolutely get pregnant with it, but it's a lot harder because you can't time it. I had like ALL of the symptoms so I decided I should get tested for it, just to be safe.
My doctor treated me like I was silly and advised me to not "google" anything when it comes to pregnancy. She said she was first going to test me for an infection, which is what she always does first. A lot of times you can have an infection that fights off the sperm and that is the only issue and antibiotics can clear that right up. We then set up a follow-up appointment for 2 weeks later.
About a week and a half later she called me and told me that I did have an infection and got me a perscription. So I just said, "alright, good to know, fingers crossed for next month" I still decided to keep my appointment for the PCOS test, just in case.
The day before my appointment I decided to take a pregnancy test. It was also the day AFTER Matt's birthday. I KNEW I wasn't pregnant, but I was late (which is not at all abnormal for me) and with the appointment the next day I figured I may as well. The test came up positive. It was about 6:30 in the morning and Matt was still in bed. I knew it had to be wrong. There was not one part of me that believed that. So I didn't tell Matt.
On the way to work I called my Dr and asked if the medication she prescribed could give me a false positive, her response, "I've never heard of that happening before".
When I got to work I took another test, a different brand this time, also positive. Holy crap!
I contemplated waiting until after my appointment the next day to tell Matt, but I knew I wouldn't be able to wait. I text my sister who was on a beach in cancun because I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE!!! She was freaking out!
I knew I wouldn't see Matt until about 10 that night and it was about 10 in the morning at this point. I was prepared for the longest day ever.
On my lunch break I went to walmart and bought a little, gender nuetral, baby blanket.
After work, after my ukulele lesson, after my RS meeting, and when Matt finally got home from the gym he came and sat down with me on the couch. He saw a box for him and he said, "did you get me another gift?" (remember his birthday was the day before) I said, "Yeah, open it". He opened it and saw the blanket and just said, with a smirk, "What is this?" I said, "Lift it up". He did and underneath were both pregnancy tests. "Are you serious?" "Is this real?" "For real?" "You are?" I just (almost emotionless, because it was still hard for me to believe) said, "yep"
We only talked about it for a second because I told him, "I don't want to really talk about this until the dr confirms tomorrow" but he could not stop staring at me, which I loved.
The next day, I nervously went to my appointment. I had an ultrasound and after about 15 minutes of silence the tech said, "I'm just going to get a doctor" then saw the look on my face, put her hand on my shoulder and said, "There is nothing to be worried about". She came back in alone and said, "You are definitely pregnant. It's too early to tell how far, but I can see the gestational sac and I can see that there is bloodflow to a heart."
I could not believe it. Now it was starting to sink it. I am going to have a baby!!
The next day I got the worst cold of my life, and couldn't take anything for it. So that was awesome.
Last week, on Feb 17th, we had our first Ultrasound with my OB. It wasn't a long appointment, they did my bloodwork, and I had the Ultrasound. I had an idea how far along I was, but knew with how irregular I am it could be off by a week, so I wasn't sure if we'd hear a heartbeat.
There the baby was, we could see the little heart flutter and my eyes filled with tears. There was our baby. OUR BABY! Then he put the sound on and I could hear it. I could hear the heartbeat! The most amazing thing I've ever been a part of.
The Dr confirmed that I was just over 7 weeks with a due date of October 3rd.
Now came the discussion of how/when to tell our families.
My sister's birthday was on a Sunday and my nephew's was the week after that, so I knew they'd be having the family over. So I sent Nixon a gift with a card from "Matt, Julia and Baby Halls" I told my sister to have him open my gift last (so as to not steal any thunder) and to have him read the card. She Facetimed me and that was so fun to watch, he read the card all confused "Baby Halls???" but my family wigged out.
(for some reason I could NOT post the picture of the card... annoyed)
Tuesday (2/24) Was Matt's Dad's birthday and all the adults (that could make it) were going out to dinner. I wrote up a card that said, "We got you a gift, but it won't be delivered until October" Then the inside said, "Happy Birthday Grandpa" "Love Matt, Julia and Grandbaby #30" Yes this will be #30 on Matt's side. His dad read it kind of soberly, but his sister Heather was sitting next to him reading it with him and freaked, which caused the rest of the table to freak out as well.
We are so lucky to have such amazing families that love us so much and will SO LOVE this baby. We are very blessed.
As for me, I've been unnervingly ok. I have the "What to expect" app and every day I get emails of discussion groups of other moms that are having October babies, and sometimes it's comforting and other times it's unnerving. I keep hearing that a lack of symptoms can mean there is something wrong, but it also could be totally fine. That being said I'm not completely without symptoms. I get dizzy really easily. I do get queasy if I wait too long to eat, especially in the evenings. My boobs are super sore and growing all the time (just what I need). Every time I do feel sick, there is a part of me that is relieved. One night I felt really sick and Matt said, "I'm sorry you don't feel well" and I said, "Is it weird that I'm glad to be feeling this way? I like feeling pregnant and I don't very often" His response, "You're no weirder than any other pregnant woman" Thanks... I guess...
I am excited to start showing, I'm excited to start planning, I'm excited to know what we're having. We can't stop talking about, what it will look like, what it will act like, who it will take after, what traits of mine will it get that I don't even realize I have. We talk about what our lives could be like in 5, 10, 20 years. Before we got pregnant we had the names picked out, but now that we are pregnant we have no idea. Well we have a lot of ideas, but not settled on anything.
We are having a baby. There is a little raspberry inside me right now with a beating heart, and starting to form arms and legs. We are having a baby!!!
I'm supposed to start a tutoring session in 5 minutes and am in no condition.
ReplyDeleteYou're having a baby!